A Final Fantasy X fan fiction from Yuna's perspective. Story takes place right after the end of the game.
The Eternal Calm.
It has finally begun. Sin is forever vanquished, and the lies of Yevon are exposed for all to see. Everyone in Spira is thanking me, saying, “Lady Yuna, you saved us!” Those words acted like balm at first, soothing the pain I felt with each passing moment. But now, they feel empty. The truth is, I didn’t save them. He did.
From the very beginning, I was prepared to give up my life. When my journey started in Besaid, with Wakka, Lulu, Kimahri and a strange young man named Tidus, I never questioned my fate. Being daughter of High Summoner Braska, it was a mere fact that I, too, would face Sin. It was a mere fact that I, like a hundred summoners before me, would make my pilgrimage to Zanarkand, obtain the Final Aeon, and use it to defeat Sin, sacrificing my life in the process. We had no choice. It was the only way to defeat Sin… until Sin would return just ten short years later.
I thought I was giving the people hope. I thought that maybe, just maybe, this time it would be different. That there was a chance Sin wouldn’t return this time. But the very definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, yet expecting a different result. Yes, I was a fool. But as long as I had that hope, that fool’s hope, and could give it to the people of Spira, I was ready to die for it.
And so I went, never questioning. But I let my guard down; I let myself fall in love with Tidus, this strange young man claiming to be from Zanarkand, the City of the Dead. Yet even so, I never told him the truth. I wanted him to remain happy, even if only for a little bit longer. I never told him that I would die. I was… giving him hope, just as I myself was feeding on a hope that Sin would not return. When my cousin Rikku told him, he refused to accept it. He tried so hard to find another way. But it was futile, I told myself. We had no choice. Again and again, I told myself we had no choice. There was no other way. I would die, to bring the people of Spira hope.
But a false hope.
I never even realized it. I never thought to ask how the outcome could possibly be different this time, if I merely followed the path all of my predecessors walked. When I faced Lady Yunalesca’s spirit, I knew, for the first time, the price they asked of me was too high to pay. I was ready to give up my own life. But how could they ask me to give someone else’s? How could that unsent spirit dare ask me to not only throw away my own life for a false hope, but that of someone dear to me? I could not, I would not, do it. When we destroyed Lady Yunalesca, I knew I had burned my bridges behind me. There was no way to go back and do it Yevon’s way, the way of temples and traditions. My only option was to find a way to truly defeat Sin.
At last the time came to face Yu Yevon, the creature we had worshipped for a thousand years, and the creature that would return to wreak havoc in the shell of Sin every decade. We were going to destroy Yu Yevon, and in so doing, eliminate the threat of Sin forever. But, when we did that, the Fayth would be released from their dream. That would mean the aeons, the summoner’s faithful companions, would be gone… it was sad for me, but I could take that sadness. What I couldn’t take was the other consequence. Tidus was not real—he was only a dream of the Fayth. Should the Fayth cease their dreaming, Tidus would cease to exist. Not real? Only a dream? Oh, but it felt real. The joy of being around him was real. And the pain of losing him was real as well. Too real.
Yet, just as I had willingly marched towards my own funeral for the sake of Spira, Tidus willingly sealed his own fate for my sake. If it was hard for me, how much harder was it for him? Maybe he was just doing this because he wanted to destroy Sin, just as I had prepared to die to defeat it. But no, I cannot doubt him. His resolve came from a love much deeper than for a world foreign to him. I do not know whether this ought to make me happy or sad: he did it, because he loved me.
And, once more, I told myself we had no choice.
Our magic words. No choice. But we always had a choice. Maybe that was the only reasonable option. Maybe it was the only useful thing we could have done. But we had a choice. And we made it. Whether we realized it or not, we decided then what we were to do, no one chose for us. And sometimes I go back and wonder if we chose right. Sometimes I wonder if there really wasn’t any other way. I would have given anything, if there was only a way to destroy Sin, without destroying him. Yet even through my veil of tears, I realize that the pain only makes the sacrifice that much more beautiful.
It’s never fun to say goodbye, and it’s never easy. My heart is broken, broken in a million tiny pieces. But every time I see a child’s smile, or an old man thanking me for letting him live out the rest of his days happily—I pick up another piece. For every tear I wipe from a child’s eye, I gather one. For every thankful face I see, I pick up another. And when I have gathered all the shattered remnants of my heart, I will begin to piece them back together, one by one. I do not know how long it will take, how many years will pass, but eventually, my heart will be whole again—except for the one little piece I have reserved for you, that you will hold forever.
And just as the Fayth held onto a memory of Zanarkand, a memory out of which you came to me, I will hold onto my memories and my love, knowing that we wrote a legend together.
And that little piece of my heart will always belong to you.
Yuna, Tidus and all other characters and places from FFX are © copyright Square. Story written by and intellectual property of Elizabeth Chin.
