Once Dreamed
8-31-07

I dreamed that somebody loved me.
Don’t worry, I knew it was untrue.
I’ve had that dream enough to know it,
I can recognize that ruse.
I built up my walls to shut out that illusion
But it persists in attacking me yet.
For a moment I think it might not be a dream
Then it fades ’round me cold and wet.
Like a harassing south wind bringing heat to a frost
Reality comes uninvited to me.
At first I slam the door, but still it seeps through
And callously melts the dream.
He comes to me saying he’ll love me always
But I know what “always” means.
As soon as he’s had his way with me
He goes and takes with him my dreams.
Well I’m sick of being abandoned, and I’m sick of being left.
This time I’m the one in control.
I build my walls up high and strong
And inside them I live alone.
I won’t let you in—build your own fortress!
If I let you in you’ll kill me.
Live in your pretty little world of people
And in the end only I am still me.
Watch them change you, and pretend you don’t see.
Isn’t that what all of you do?
Well I’m not the fool I used to be
And I will acknowledge the truth.
Even if you let them in, they’ll never change
You’re the one who will alter.
Soon they’re through with you and you’re naught but a shell
With nothing left to offer.
My walls close in on me, you want me to leave.
My protectors make me chafe.
But you can’t drive me out, I’ll never succumb.
Here inside these four walls I am safe.
Maybe I can’t always block out the dream
But at least I can hide here and try.
I dreamed that somebody loved me…
…Don’t worry, I knew it was a lie.

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Another character composition for God only knows who. It was inspired by the lyrics to an old 80's song that went something like "Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me. No hope, no harm, just another false alarm." And don't worry, it's not me saying all that depressing stuff.

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