Unending Snow
A character composition for "Illusion"
8-28-05

She made me happy, I’d ne’er known before That ever a calm could come to my war. But that fleeting moment of happiness Should have warned me of a tempest. For me, nothing good ever lasted long, As if Fate was saying I’d never belong. The beauty of sorrow was withheld from me. The pain and the ice were all I could see. Forever I’ll cherish that time long ago That one passing moment that melted the snow But cold came again and now it has shown That no matter how, I’ll always be alone. How cruel could I be? That I should impose My own fate upon even just one of those Innocent beings smiled on by Fate And show a small glimpse of eternal hate. Forever I bear this curse upon me, This curse that I’ll last for eternity, Being hated, and to those for whom I care, Making them in my own curse share. I keep them away, yet they never relent They don’t understand that I must prevent Letting another of them come near And letting them die by the fate that I fear. I told her to keep well away from me, But still she came close, and now you see The fate that fell upon her was demise. And I to blame for not sev'ring the tie. So our fondest memories won’t melt and go, I’ll keep on living in this unending snow… If I could go back, what I’d do differently, Is I would have saved you from saving me.

                       Another recurring theme: fate. I don't believe in fate, but it sounds cool and adds an air of mystery and solemnity to things. Also, this is another character composition for Illusion. Bad, bad things always happen to Nymph because she tries to get close to him, so though Illusion is by no means the poetic type, I am, and I expressed how he would feel in poetry far too eloquent for the awkward teenager (not that I'm really eloquent... more like he just really isn't).
                      My first lines were the first two of the last stanza. It was inspired by episode 8 of Fruits Basket, where Hatori says, "I'll keep on living inside this never melting snow, so the dream I shared with you won't melt away." (Kana blamed herself that Hatori's eye was put out, so he had to erase her memory.) I cried a lot during that episode. Ahem. Wait. Umm. Yeah. So since I saw that line fit decently in with Illusion's predicament, I decided to go with my gut and write it.

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